Next, the article said that it is most cost-effective to avoid going to court whenever possible. The litigation process, although necessary in some cases, is what often drives up the cost of getting a divorce, so other options should be considered first. One of these options is mediation, which can assist the parties in reaching a mutual agreement through a facilitated negotiation process.
]]> In addition to setting a budget and avoiding court when possible, the article said that simply taking a reasonable approach to the divorce can be one of the best money-saving techniques. Oftentimes, couples get caught up with emotions and end up paying thousands of dollars to fight over things that don't really matter. In other cases, couples rack up expensive divorce bills by refusing to find common ground with important issues like child custody.But that isn't to say that you should be a push-over, either. The article also said that it's important to find a family law attorney who can help you be strong and stand up for your case. Some people make the mistake of trying to represent themselves thinking it will be worth the money they save. Unfortunately, these individuals often regret the decision when they realize they made a bad deal or an unresolved issue shows up later to haunt them.
These are all good tips for saving money during a divorce. For more ideas, talk to your divorce lawyer.
Source: Fox Business, "How to Make Your Divorce Cheaper," Andrea Murad, May 16, 2013
]]>Illinois residents considering adoption should also take into consideration a fathers' rights in the matter. This can especially be difficult in circumstances where the mother is a teenager or perhaps is in an abusive relationship and cannot care for the child. Depending on the state, and the amount of time between when the mother relinquishes her rights and the adoption papers are signed, there may be a period of time when the father can request child custody.
]]> Such was the case for one couple who explained their story in a recent article in The Atlantic. During one of their experiences with domestic adoption they came across just such a scenario. The mother, who was in an abusive relationship at the time, was not sure whether the father was: her Caucasian boyfriend or a Hispanic man with whom she had had a brief affair. When the child was born, it quickly became apparent that the father was the Hispanic man which created its own set of problems.It turns out that the birthfather had been supporting the mother and his unborn child during the pregnancy; and although much of the adoption paperwork had already been signed, the couple’s claim to the child was overridden by the father’s request for child custody.
Although cases like this may seem rare, the chances of them happening are very likely. That’s why it’s important to take all of these legal challenges into consideration. While you may not be able to solve them on your own, having help from a skilled attorney might be the leverage you need in order to solve these situations quickly and without difficulty.
Source: The Atlantic, “The Dark, Sad Side of Domestic Adoption,” Jennifer Gilmore, April 30, 2013
]]>The concerns surrounding the 2011 child custody case began when the mother explained to the court that she wanted to distance her kids from the Baptist beliefs of her husband. According to her husband's beliefs, wives should be submissive to their husbands. When the mother struggled to cite the exact passage, one of the judges allegedly said that she knew which passage the woman was referring to and recalled having the same disapproval at her own wedding.
]]> Although the judge awarded the mother custody of her children, the father appealed. But in the three-judge panel, the prior custody decision was upheld. The question posed was: did the religious views of the judge affect the judge's decision in the child custody case? Despite one of the appeals' court judges saying that her comments had no place in the courtroom, the three-judge panel found no evidence that the judgment was distorted by her views in anyway. And because the husband's attorney did not object to the statement at the time of the hearing, the appeals court saw no reason to reverse the decision now.As we've mentioned in past posts, when it comes to child custody hearings, judges take every aspect of the case into consideration. In the end, the judge tries to decide which spouse will be most fit to care for the child and whether that parent has the child's best interest in mind. In the end, this is what the appeals court felt the judge had done.
Source: Star Tribune, "Bible verse prompts appeal of Stearns County custody case," Jeremy Olson, April 11, 2013
]]>It's an issue the bipartisan Family Law Study Committee has known about for quite some time now. For the past four years, the committee, chaired by family attorney Andre Katz, has been hearing from judges, family law experts, child advocates, and the public in an effort to discover what the current state of family law is in the state and how to remedy our laws to match the change.
]]> It's been more than 35 years since legislators first wrote Illinois' current divorce and child custody laws and feelings have since changed. The committee has tried to reflect that by rewriting many of the laws to better serve the families.One of the revised laws eliminates the "grounds" for divorce. Under previous law, a divorce petition, except in the case of domestic abuse, had to have "grounds for dissolution" which could include adultery, abandonment, or even a spouse exhibiting an addiction lasting at least two years. The standard separation period of two years before divorce has also been eliminated in the new legislation.
The new laws will also require judgments to be filed in a timely manner. According to the new law, a judgment will be entered within 60 days of closing and will be extended to 90 days if "good cause" is presented to the court.
The new laws also address child custody as well. If parents do not come up with an agreed upon parenting plan, then the terms of child custody will default to a time sharing arrangement of no less than 35 percent residential time for each parent.
Additional changes to family law are in the hopes of promoting an amicable separation between spouses and support the efforts of keeping a child's best interest in mind during court proceedings.
Sources:
CBS St. Louis, "Illinois House Considers Changes To Divorce Laws," April 15, 2013
98th General Assembly State of Illinois, HB1452, 2013 and 2014
]]>For decades now, immigrant families here in Illinois and across the country have been torn apart by instances of deportation and vicious child custody battles all because one or both parents are not considered to be legal citizens. Often times, tough legal situations arise not because of what type of parent the immigrant is, but because of the negative stigma associated with undocumented immigrants.
]]> Such is the case for one undocumented immigrant who finally regained custody of her 4-year-old daughter after a drawn out custody battle with the daughter's grandparents finally ended this month. It's a battle that's been weighing heavily on the 20-year-old mother's mind since she lost custody of her daughter in 2011; a chance court decision that her lawyers now say should have never been made.When the 4-year-old girl was born in 2009, her mother was just 17 at the time and living with the biological father and his parents who had residency in the United States. After an argument in 2011, the mother moved out, taking her daughter with her. This is when the grandparents filed for emergency custody.
After a trial, child custody was granted to the grandparents after a judge implied in his ruling that because the mother did not have legal status in the country she was somehow unfit to be a parent. Drawing the attention of one Minnesota law firm, the mother's case was quickly picked up and brought to the Court of Appeals where a judge finally agreed that the legal status of the mother had no bearing on her fitness as a parent.
Though the mother in this case was awarded custody of her child, similar cases have not ended so happily. Child custody cases like this can often times be complicated when immigration status is involved. That's why speaking with an attorney is so important; sometimes it can make all the difference in a court's decision in the end.
Source: The Start Tribune, "Immigration status not a factor in custody battle, Minnesota court says," Abby Simons, April 8, 2013
]]>While going through the separation process, there is one thing that crops up time and time again in advice columns everywhere: communication. And although it may seem hard to follow through on, opening the lines of communication both before and during a divorce could eliminate many of the stresses most commonly associated with divorce proceedings.
]]> Sometimes even the happiest of marriages can turn sour in the end. Generally, this is because one or both spouses have expectations of their spouse that they never communicate to their partner. As a result, the common "I can't read your mind" argument tends to crop up more frequently, leaving hurt emotions and increasing tension. Talking through this may clear the air, avoiding future arguments in the process.When having a fight, taking the other person's feelings into consideration can be an effective way of also circumventing unnecessary stresses later on. Talking things out and clearing the air of any resentments or anger can often times lead to an amicable ending. This may be particularly difficult if one partner does not follow the same practice; but for these types of situations, seeking assistance from a legal representative can often times iron out the wrinkles you can't seem to handle yourself.
If in the end, you or your spouse is still unhappy with the relationship, talking through the expectations of a divorce can go a long way. You may find out that your spouse would like to try marriage counseling or that you both want to split and go your separate ways. Whatever the case, keeping the lines of communication open can not only smooth out the divorce process but can sometimes give you that happier ending as well.
Source: The Huffington Post, "What I Know About Marriage Now That I've Done It Twice," Meg Buck, March 27, 2013
]]>The question was first addressed by the Illinois Supreme Court in 1986, in a case called "In re Marriage of Drews." In that case, the court decided that the dissolution of marriage was too personal a decision for a guardian to make. For one thing, at that time, Illinois divorce law required a finding of fault, which seemed unjust in such cases. Second, how could a guardian know whether the ward would want the divorce if he or she was unable to decide?
The Drews decision turned out to be problematic, however, since a competent spouse does have the right to divorce an incompetent one. If a guardian can't file for divorce on a ward's behalf even when it is clearly in his or her best interest, the result would be to "grant the competent spouse 'absolute, final control over the marriage,'" the court said, citing Diane Snow Mills in an article in the Journal of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
]]> In October of last year, the Illinois Supreme Court overruled its Drews decision in Karbin v. Karbin ex rel. Hibler. Ultimately, the court decided, there are situations in which the ward's best interest is clearly served by divorce. "Because under the Probate Act the guardian must always act in the best interests of the ward, when a guardian decides that those best interests require that the marriage be dissolved, the guardian must have the power to take appropriate legal action to accomplish that end," the court wrote.This decision clarified just what legal authority guardians have over adult wards, which had been in some dispute. In the past, the courts had upheld a guardian's authority to make decisions about some serious and permanent issues -- among them whether life support should be continued for the ward and whether the ward should be involuntarily sterilized.
Now that Illinois allows no-fault divorce, why should the decision to dissolve a marriage be off limits? As long as a hearing is held to ensure it's actually in the ward's best interest, the court said, the guardian should have this authority.
"This ensures that the most vulnerable members of our society are afforded fundamental fairness, equal protection of the laws and equal access to the courts," the court wrote in Karbin.
Sources:
With retirement either approaching or at hand, however, there are a some serious questions you should ask yourself before you make the decision to divorce. If you've been in a long-term marriage, chances are your finances are deeply interconnected with those of your spouse, and you may have been planning for years with the assumption that you would only have one household to support.
]]> Recently, a Michigan family law attorney blogged about the issue for the Huffington Post. While each state's divorce laws are a little different, the concepts are universal so they apply here in Illinois, as well.Here are some questions to ask yourself if you're over 50 and considering divorce:
If you're considering a divorce, all of these questions can be answered with the help of good planning, but you do need to have a handle on those answers before taking any irrevocable steps. Take your time and talk things over, either with a lawyer or with your spouse.
Source: Huffington Post, "The Gray Divorce," Henry Gornbein, March 6, 2013
]]>For decades, we've heard that strong communication skills are the key to good relationships and that poor ones can destroy them. So why is nagging of particular concern?
One reason is that it can spiral out of control. According to research published in the Journal of Family Psychology, negative communication patterns increase sharply once couples become unhappy. Specifically, among couples who said they were unhappy in their marriages at the five-year point experienced, on average, a 20 percent increase in negative communication, along with a simultaneous decrease of 12 percent in positive communication.
]]> Almost every couple experiences nagging at one point or another, but persistent nagging may be veiling serious and painful emotional issues for both the "nagger" and the "nagee."People who nag often do so because they feel that requests are being ignored -- which easily becomes feeling unheard and unloved. They often falsely perceive that their partners agreed to help, or their partners may not give a clear yes or no.
People who get nagged are often uncomfortable with conflict. They may not want to agree to certain requests, but they don't want to fight. Persistent nagging makes people feel criticized, and even personally attacked.
The situation can get so bad that the couple won't talk at all. Unfortunately, unaddressed nagging can remain a problem even after a divorce because couples with kids still have to communicate effectively enough to co-parent.
For both members of the couple, nagging may be shorthand for uncomfortable issues. Both members need to recognize what's going on and take steps to put an end to it. It may take courage and you may need help, but that hard work can pay off for a lifetime.
Sources: