Love is a powerful emotion that often drives people to do crazy things. In some cases, however, what a person believes to be love is something entirely different. This is often the case in many intimate relationships where a person stays in a marriage or relationship for the wrong reasons.
There are many reasons why an individual may choose to stay in an unhappily marriage. For example, children are often used as an excuse by many parents who fear a child wouldn’t be able to cope with a divorce. In reality, however, it’s likely a lot more difficult and traumatizing for a child to live with two unhappy parents who are constantly fighting or engaging in passive-aggressive behaviors. Children are incredibly intuitive and may be adversely impacted when living in a tense and unhappy household.
Another reason unhappy spouses may stay together is that they simply don’t want to be alone. Some individuals who stay in bad marriages have low self esteem and fear that they won’t be able to find the loving and happy relationship they deserve. Others simply grow comfortable and may not realize how unfulfilling and unhealthy a relationship with a spouse has become.
In other cases, an individual may be fully aware that his or her marriage isn’t happy or healthy and take steps to work through marital problems. While marriage counseling can be helpful for many couples, it’s important to recognize when it makes more sense for all involved parties to admit a marriage simply isn’t working.
Individuals who decide to divorce should not feel like they gave up or failed. It’s often easier to stay the course and not rock the boat. However, when that boat is headed nowhere or is bound to sink, it’s time to seriously contemplate divorce. It takes a tremendous amount of strength and courage to leave an unhappy marriage and individuals who choose to do so should take comfort in knowing they’ve taken the first step towards securing a happier future.
Source: The Huffington Post, “Why Do Good People Stay in Inadequate Relationships?,” Kim Rosenberg, March 27, 2014