How Can My Ex and I Co-Parent Effectively After an Illinois Divorce?

couple learning to co-parent effectively

Though you and your ex-spouse may have conflicting feelings, it’s vital to do what you can to work together on behalf of your children. However, this is not always easy or viable for every family. If you believe you and your spouse can co-parent effectively, keep reading to uncover some of the best tips and tricks. You’ll also learn how a Tazewell County child custody lawyer can help you with any issues you may have.


Co-parenting is a method of working with your ex-spouse to parent your children together. This approach differs from parallel parenting, where both parents do not interact but do not hinder their child from seeing the other. Co-parenting is ideal for couples who separated on amicable or civil terms.

This parenting style is vital as it allows you to create a loving, unified environment as the children are able to spend time with both parents without feeling guilty or as if they need to choose a side. Similarly, it helps create consistency and stability in a child’s life, as both parents are on the same page in terms of important decisions. This includes parenting styles, disciplinary action, bedtime, chores, and other decisions.


One of the best tips to co-parent well is to avoid speaking negatively about your ex in front of them. Children are more perceptive than many give them credit for, meaning they’ll likely pick up on rude comments. This can cause intense stress and anxiety for children, as they feel obligated to “pick a side.” Instead, staying respectful is a great way to show your child that they have a unified parental unit they can trust. Similarly, your children will grow up understanding respect. This also includes putting on a civil act when at shared events. Your child won’t remember winning their big game if they’re worried about you and your ex fighting the entire time.

You should also keep communication with your spouse open and encouraged. This does not mean you need to be best friends or share personal details, but full transparency when it comes to your child and their needs is essential to ensure you are both on the same page. This includes using your child as a messenger to deliver information to your spouse, as this puts them in the middle of your issues. Instead, keep an open line of communication with your ex. Again, your children will grow up understanding why respectful communication is vital.

When you need assistance, Butler, Giraudo & Meister can help. Our dedicated legal team understands the challenges sharing custody with your spouse can pose. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help you navigate any issues you may have with your current custody arrangement.

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