While you were married, you may not have been able to spend as much time with your children as you would have liked. Work may have claimed much of your time, and now divorce has made being with the kids even more challenging.
Although it takes time for everyone involved to heal emotionally and become used to this new chapter in their lives, many fathers take divorce as an opportunity to improve their relationship with the children. Becoming an active divorce dad is a good thing, but you must also take a few precautions.
Communicate values
You may feel that controlling the children is essential, and indeed you and your former spouse need to establish and enforce certain rules in your separate households: curfews, time to do homework, tidiness, punctuality and so on. Still, remember to communicate positive values, especially as your kids grow up.
Do not become too soft on your children
Remember that your current parenting role is going to be different than the one you had during your marriage. Resist being too soft and easy, thinking this will make up for the pain and disruption your children suffered because of the split. On the other hand, do not be too hard and unyielding. You may need to make some adjustments in attitude as a newly single dad.
Keep to the agreement
Cooperate with your ex-spouse on the co-parenting program you have set up. Do not miss visits with your children. Making sure they know how important they are to you is crucial. When you are not with them, keep in touch during the week with a phone call, letter or email. In this same vein, ensure that you deliver child support checks regularly and on time. To do otherwise could hurt your kids in the long run.
Seek legal advice
No one ever said that life after divorce is easy, but the bright side may come with spending more time and effort to bond with your children. If serious problems crop up that you are unsure how to manage, you may need some expert advice. Remember that you can reach out for help to an attorney experienced with family law.
