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Peoria Family Law Blog

When counseling cannot save a marriage

For many couples facing problems in their relationship, meeting with a counselor is a good way to resolve differences and find some common ground. Many marriages have been salvaged as a result of counseling, which can help people understand their spouse better and discuss some of the challenges within their relationship in a healthy manner. However, counseling certainly does not work for every couple, and in some cases, it may even make the marital problems a couple is dealing with even worse. If you are dealing with this, you may have no choice but to move forward with a divorce.

If counseling fails to save your marriage, you should still try to remain hopeful and have a good understanding of the different options that are on the table. For example, just because you and your spouse cannot come to an agreement about the future of your relationship or you both believe that it is time to move on, you may still be able to work with your spouse during your divorce to make things easier for both of you. Not only can open communication be advantageous during the divorce process, but you might even be able to work with a mediator and move through your divorce in an easier manner.

When a parent does not want custody

Often, when people think about child custody, they envision a heated dispute or disagreement over how custody will be split between parents. Or, they may envision a parent who is devastated to find out that they will not be able to share custody with their child's other parent, significantly impacting their relationship with a child (or children) that they deeply love. However, in some cases, a parent may not even be interested in custody, and there are different reasons for this. It is important to keep in mind that every family is in a unique situation with respect to custody and other divorce issues.

Sometimes, a parent decides that they do not want custody because they are no longer interested in raising a child or being present in a child's life. In fact, these attitudes can even be the cause of the breakdown of a marriage. Parents may want to shun responsibility or live life a certain way, and this can be devastating for their kids and for the other parent as well. In other instances, a parent may want to forfeit their custody rights because they will no longer be able to spend time with their kids anyway (such as someone who permanently moves to another country after their divorce, for example).

Can my ex and I develop an effective parenting plan?

When it comes to divorce, many different factors require consideration. The situation becomes even more fraught and complicated with children in the picture. One primary concern of a divorcing couple with children should be to ensure their children's best interests come first in terms of decision-making.

A lot of work goes into developing an effective parenting plan. If you and your spouse are willing to come together to try to find a compromise and shared solutions, you can craft an effective parenting plan that works for your whole family.

Filing for divorce with adult children

For some parents, the decision to move forward with a divorce is put on hold until their child reaches the age of 18 and leaves for college. Parents may decide to push off their divorce until their kids have left the house for many different reasons. For example, they may not worry as much about how their divorce will affect the child now that they have reached adulthood, and issues such as custody and child support may not be a concern, either. That said, all sorts of challenges can arise for parents who decide to split up once their kids have become legal adults.

A child may no longer live in their parents' home, but they could still be affected by their divorce in various ways. For example, the divorce could place additional strain on them during college and they may still have a very strong emotional attachment to their parents' marriage. However, you should not decide to cancel your divorce solely because of how it may affect your kids.

Divorce, custody and your career

There are many factors that can make bringing marriage to an end so tough, but family law issues which involve your kids are often particularly difficult. Not only can these matters be an emotional rollercoaster, but there is so much at stake, including your child's future. Moreover, family law issues which involve kids, such as disputes surrounding child custody, can carry over into other facets of your life. For example, if you are going through a very bitter custody dispute you may notice that your job is adversely impacted by the challenges.

There are other ways in which a custody dispute may relate to your career as well. For example, your income and work hours, as well as certain aspects of your job (such as traveling overseas for business), may factor into how custody is awarded. Depending on the outcome of a custody dispute, you may decide to work more hours, or you may need to take some time off. Some people may have an especially difficult experience during a dispute over child custody because of career-related challenges they are facing, whether they recently lost their job or have been struggling with an unusually demanding workload.

Custody and an unreasonable ex-spouse

Many facets of family law can be difficult to work through, but there are times when these legal matters (from custody to child support and property division) can be especially complicated. For example, someone who is dealing with a former marital partner that has become unreasonable may have a harder time working through these matters for a handful of reasons. If your child's other parent has become tough to work with, or they are making your life unnecessarily difficult due to hard feelings, for example, it is important to handle your circumstances appropriately and have a clear understanding of your different options.

An ex-spouse could become unreasonable because they are jealous about a new boyfriend or girlfriend or because they are bitter about the divorce. When someone feels this way, it may be impossible to talk to them and reduced communication may make family law issues more challenging to work through. In some instances, someone may even falsely accuse their former partner of wrongdoing in an attempt to win a custody battle. If you are struggling with a former partner who has become very unreasonable, it is critical to take steps to protect yourself, your child's well-being and your reputation.

Custody disputes and business travel

There are many different issues that can affect family law cases, especially when it comes to child custody. Courts examine multiple issues that may play a role in the outcome of a custody dispute and every parent is in a unique position. Some, for example, may be required to travel for long distances as a result of business. In some cases, a parent may even have to leave the country for extended periods of time due to their business. It is important to understand how this could play a role in a custody decision and do what you can to fight for your child's best interests.

Sometimes, frequent business travel may even be one of the main causes of the breakdown of a marriage. However, people may have no choice but to travel for work. First of all, a parent who frequently has to leave home may find that this travel has an adverse impact on their ability to secure custody of the child, especially if the other parent has been the one taking care of the child. This does not mean that a parent who has to travel for business purposes cannot secure shared custody, and custody can be modified later on if circumstances change.

Suicide and family law

Family law issues can create many different hardships for people, and some people have an especially difficult time dealing with legal issues related to their former spouse or children. For example, suicide may affect an individual from a family law perspective, and it is important to be aware of the different ways in which this terrible decision could impact your case. Some people become suicidal in the wake of a tough divorce or an unfavorable custody decision, and this can place additional strain on a family that is already struggling to move forward.

If you are feeling suicidal, it is imperative to address these feelings promptly and make sure that you do not do anything based on a temporary problem that may be resolved in the future. Also, if your former spouse or the other parent of your child committed suicide, or is threatening to commit suicide, this may affect you from a family law perspective. For example, if you are going through a custody dispute you may want to draw attention to this issue in court.

Yes, social media can complicate your divorce

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media platforms seem to be everywhere these days. In fact, you probably cannot walk into a restaurant or store without seeing someone documenting the experience on social media. While most posts are harmless, some could complicate your divorce proceedings. 

Whether you are thinking about filing for divorce or have already started the process, you must be careful about what you post online. Also, if you have children, you may need to take additional steps to protect your kids from unfair exposure. Either way, you should know a few things about how social media intersects with divorce proceedings. 

What can I do about loneliness over the holidays?

As a single father in Illinois, the holidays may be a lonely time for you. It can be hard to adjust to a divorce, especially when you're separated from your kids for the first time in a long time. In this case, there are steps you can take to deal with loneliness over the holidays while also taking care of yourself. Live About offers the following advice.  

Don't deny your feelings

  • I cannot even express in words the level of gratitude that I feel. ‘Thank you’ doesn't seem to be enough. Please know that your services and compassion will never be forgotten! I am forever grateful!

  • Thank you so much for your hard work and expertise. I feel as a father in the state of Illinois that what I am trying to achieve is nearly impossible. I am so glad I chose to have your office full of extremely intelligent women represent me.

  • We would like to say thank you for your expertise, education, and kindness when we met with you! Your confidence has helped to comfort us and give us hope that resolution of the issue is possible.

  • I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your time, energy, and efforts you put into our case. Thank you for helping make our son's quality of life better. I cannot tell you how happy we are!

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