Turning your in-laws into ex-laws

When you walked down the aisle, you likely expected to remain married to your spouse forever. You also may have gained a new family, comprising your spouse and his or her parents, siblings and other relatives. During your divorce, though, you must understand how to turn your in-laws into ex-laws effectively. 

Divorcing spouses often experience a variety of emotions. If you are close to your spouse’s family, however, you may worry about losing their friendship, support and affection. Here are some ways to deal with your in-laws during and after your divorce.

1. Be as honest as possible 

Even though your soon-to-be former in-laws may adore you, their loyalty likely resides with their blood relative. Still, you can likely make headway in preserving the relationship by being honest with both your spouse and his or her family members. If you want to maintain an ongoing friendship, discuss your goals with your partner. With a bit of honesty, you can likely gauge whether preserving a relationship with the in-laws is possible. 

2. Establish a visitation schedule 

Surprises during a divorce are usually not a good thing. Therefore, if you plan to continue to see your in-laws, inform your partner. Then, establish a visitation schedule that everyone can follow. If your spouse knows what to expect, he or she may be less likely to develop resentment about your ongoing relationship with your ex-laws

3. Set some rules 

Your partner may not feel comfortable with your affectionate relationship with his or her family members. Accordingly, try to establish some healthy boundaries and form some working rules. If you can respect your partner’s feelings, you are apt to avoid complications in your relationship with your ex-laws. 

Divorce can be tough for anyone. Still, if you are facing a loss of your relationship with your current in-laws, you may want to do what you can to preserve it. With a bit of effort and some good communication, you may be able to save the relationship without further alienating your ex-spouse.

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