How to avoid becoming a casualty of the divorce process

When a married couple isn’t able to resolve issues that are negatively impacting their lives and those of shared children, divorce is often the best solution. However, even in cases where both parties want a divorce, it doesn’t mean the divorce process will be easy.

Individuals going through a divorce often feel overwhelmed by emotions and thoughts that may adversely affect one’s ability to think rationally and focus on those things that really matter. Divorce is a time when strong feelings and emotions such as anger, fear, sadness, regret and loneliness may dominate. When overcome by these intense emotions, an individual may become stuck in a negative cycle which may lead one to engage in behaviors that are self-destructive or uncharacteristic. To avoid becoming a casualty of the divorce process, individuals would be wise to take control.

When overcome by negative emotions and thoughts, individuals are advised to take steps to get healthy. Getting plenty of rest and following a healthy eating and exercise regimen can greatly improve one’s outlook and ability to put things into perspective. In contrast, individuals who turn to unhealthy foods, drugs or alcohol will likely feel even more powerless and depressed about their situation.

While it’s important not to wallow too long in self pity or negative emotions, one shouldn’t keep everything bottled up inside. It’s normal and healthy to feel angry, hurt and resentful towards an ex-spouse. It’s not, however, helpful for any involved party to allow negative emotions to dictate one’s actions or life. Learning how to cope in a healthy way is crucial to ensuring an individual is able to let go of the past and work towards building a happier future.

While navigating the divorce process, it’s important to keep emotions in check. This is especially true in cases where an ex-spouse is combative or aggressive. Rather than sink to an ex’s level, it’s best to remain cool, calm and in control. By doing so, an individual effectively shows an ex-spouse and judge that he or she is capable and competent which will go a long way in ensuring for the successful negotiation of important divorce terms.

Source: The Huffington Post, “5 Ways to Take Control of Your Divorce Before It Takes Control of You,” Cheryl and Joe Dillon, April 21, 2014

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