Why communication is so important before and during a divorce

With the national average of first marriages that end in divorce hovering around 50 percent, it’s no surprise that optimistic couples in Illinois want to be the exception to the rule-beat the odds so to speak. But the sad fact of the matter is that not all marriages end happily ever after, and sometimes the only way to get your happy ending is to get a divorce.

While going through the separation process, there is one thing that crops up time and time again in advice columns everywhere: communication. And although it may seem hard to follow through on, opening the lines of communication both before and during a divorce could eliminate many of the stresses most commonly associated with divorce proceedings.

Sometimes even the happiest of marriages can turn sour in the end. Generally, this is because one or both spouses have expectations of their spouse that they never communicate to their partner. As a result, the common “I can’t read your mind” argument tends to crop up more frequently, leaving hurt emotions and increasing tension. Talking through this may clear the air, avoiding future arguments in the process.

When having a fight, taking the other person’s feelings into consideration can be an effective way of also circumventing unnecessary stresses later on. Talking things out and clearing the air of any resentments or anger can often times lead to an amicable ending. This may be particularly difficult if one partner does not follow the same practice; but for these types of situations, seeking assistance from a legal representative can often times iron out the wrinkles you can’t seem to handle yourself.

If in the end, you or your spouse is still unhappy with the relationship, talking through the expectations of a divorce can go a long way. You may find out that your spouse would like to try marriage counseling or that you both want to split and go your separate ways. Whatever the case, keeping the lines of communication open can not only smooth out the divorce process but can sometimes give you that happier ending as well.

Source: The Huffington Post, “What I Know About Marriage Now That I’ve Done It Twice,” Meg Buck, March 27, 2013

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